Anguished Droplets : Soliloquy of Self-Agnosia

I mourn the oblivion of stella counting
And the dulcet memory of your osculum
I yearn for the reprise of your tactile grace
And the appellation of being your demesne
You apprehend my true visage
I crave no terpsichorean partner beneath the lunar glow
I supplicate for an ingress back

​I suffer consternation; the voracious hiatus
Threatens to utterly engorge my essence
This is my candent confiteor
I am no paladin, nor a hallowed exemplar
The world's salvation is beyond my purview
I never solicited this imposition

​Your eyes hold the silent interrogatories
For which my soul harbors no rejoinder
Let misprision and cynicism now burgeon
You deemed me immaculate, a vessel of deliverance
But should the suspicion arise that I was self-preserving
Recall this monition: I am inherently perilous

​Perhaps my veracity is a specious pretense
A siren veiled in gossamer finery
Perhaps I merely peddle a canard

A malefactor in masquerade
I am paralyzed by the phantasm of the swallowing inane.
This is my deponent's testimony

​I cannot discern if this is a supplication

Or a plaintive obsecration
But I am compelled to believe that

Some transcendent aether
Some numinous entity, is attentive
I must secure the belief in a sliver of potentiality
A potential extrication from this tartarean plight

​My former self is an agnostic memory
The cartography of return is utterly obliterated.
Am I the perfidious Fethema? The vengeful Gruzalcka?
Or merely the unblemished Arphabael?
Averse lovers caught in strife the time for egress nears
Embracing fiercely upon a martial topos
Succumbing to the agon

Metamorphosing at light's celerity

​I am apprehensive the chasm will consume me
This is my final avowal.